You may remember our R&D department. They’re the ones teachingour worldwide sales force of rooks, crows, ravens and other members of the Corvidae family to vocally pitch our books.
Well, the lads down in our R&D basement have uncovered a dastardly plot to besmirch the good name of Rookhouse and its crow contingent. We’re not sure what the Falkland Islands have against us, but they’ve brought in ringers pretending to be rooks, roughneck roustabouts who terrorize book lovers and innocent National Geographic photographers alike.
Be forewarned: these so-called “Johnny Rooks” aren’t rooks at all! They’re not even Corvids. They’re Striated Caracara and belong to the Falconidae family: devil-bird falcons!
So remember, whether bird or book, look for genuine Rookhouse Rooks. Accept no substitutes!
It’s not a Wednesday, but we do have some Wednesday News here at Rookhouse Books. And not very pleasant news at that.
Sorry, folks. Not only did we manage to miss the last two Wednesday News cycles due to a severe winter storm that played hob with our power and comm lines (then doubled back and clobbered us again), but we must reluctantly announce the scheduling for releasing Assembled Allred, the forthcoming Lee Allred story collection, has slipped to Q2 (hopefully early Q2). All of us here at Rookhouse, including Mr. Allred (especially Mr. Allred!), are very sorry and very disappointed about the delay.
We do have a little good news that might help brighten things up a bit.
First off, while digging through a box of books, Mr. Allred found squirrelled away an old CD-R that contained a Microsoft Word file of a long-lost story called “Add Infinitum.” The story placed as a finalist in the Writers of the Future contest and was a favorite at sf convention author readings. Mr. Allred’s graciously suggested we included this story in the collection as a bonus as a means of apologizing for the schedule delay.
Secondly, here’s the Rookhouse Interview with Lee Allredthat will be appearing in Assembled Allred. (We would say “We hope it whets your appetite for the collection,” but seeing as how we just snatched that collection from your plate, that would be kind of cruel.) Mr. Allred doesn’t do many interviews, so we’re quite pleased he participated in this rather lengthy one.
Meanwhile, we’ll get our beaks back to the grindstone (now that we have a steady supply of electricity once again) and redouble our efforts on putting out books.
We’re rather exhausted here at the Rookhouse. The whole blamed Rookhouse crew spent last week attending an intense publisher’s workshop taught by small press gurus Dean Wesley Smith and Scott William Carter. (Did you know it’s a federal law that all small press gurus use their middle names?)
We learned a lot, but boy are we pooped, so instead of our usual scathingly brilliant* (or is that brilliantly scathing?) Wednesday Rookhouse News post, we’re going to dip into the Rookhouse Mailbag this week for a little Q&A.
Q: You keep using raven and crow interchangeably on this website. They aren’t. There are differences between them. What are they? I bet you don’t even know!
A: That’s the difference!
Q: Figures. I ask a question and get another YouTube crow video. You didn’t know, did you? Okay then, smarty pants: what’s the difference between a rook and a crow?
A: Hey! Look! Over there! It’s the Goodyear Blimp!
Q: It’s March already. Where’s that Assembled Allred story collection you promised?
A: It’s on schedule. We’re working on it even as we speak! (Okay, we’re typing not speaking, but you get the general idea.) Doc Hornet’s even set down his City of Heroes Razer Naga gaming mouse to help pitch in! That shows how serious we are about delivering it Q1! Now if only Mr. Allred would write his intros and afterwords like we asked him to…
Q: I want a free pony.
A: Don’t we all.
Q: How many of these letters did Kip Grant write himself?
A: None! I’ll have you know RH staffers Copper and Cheetah wrote— Oopsie! I mean, silly goose! These are actual letters from actual readers…our wonderful Rookhouse readers all across the globe!
Q: Yeah? Which globe? The Rand McNally one in your office?
A: Um, look! Over there! It’s the Goodyear Blimp!
Q: I want a free Goodyear Blimp.
A: Would you settle for a pony?
Kip Grant — Publisher and Rookhouse Postmaster General
* Hailey Mills’ scathingly brilliant catchphrase from The Trouble with Angels, a big hit here at a recent Rookhouse office DVD night.